


something about the stars ; kleinsen

by starrysence



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 12:45:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18052733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrysence/pseuds/starrysence
Summary: done for the 2019 deh big bangthey’re ever-growing, ever-changing, exploring the wonders of their friendship; their relationship. however, something both evan hansen and jared kleinman know is going to be a constant throughout their lives is the big oak tree upon the hill; if you sit there, you can see all the stars in the sky and stay for hours and hours and never get tired of it. legend has it that if you visit the tree eighteen times with the same person, they’re destined to be your soulmate. but that’s just a stupid myth, or something. right?[PLEASE READ NOTES AT THE BEGINNING]





	something about the stars ; kleinsen

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys!! just a little warning in case anyone needs it: evan's anxiety is discussed throughout this fic, there is some swearing, and also jared has neglective parents.  
> thanks!

**#1: june 18th, 2005 (age 7)**

jared’s laughing at evan as he drops to the cool grass immediately, exhaling deeply. “you’re  _ seriously _ outta breath, ev? we didn’t even run that much!”

evan pouts and crosses his arms. “we ran a lot, jare! all the way across the field ‘nd up here. i don’t get how  _ you’re _ not tired.”

jared, ever a little ball of energy, just grins brightly and lays down next to evan, propping his head up by placing his folded arms underneath him. “i’m never tired.”

“i know,” evan mumbles. “it’s kinda scary.”

 

but jared is already past this topic of conversation, as he stares up in awe at the dark blue sky filled with shimmering stars, some brighter and bigger than others. “ev, are you seeing this?!”

“seeing what?” evan asks, tilting his head as he follows jared’s gaze. “the stars?”

“duh, the stars!” jared chuckles. “they’re so pretty, aren’t they?”

evan smiles as he gazes at the little lights illuminating the sky. “yeah, they really are.”

 

**#2: february 9th, 2006 (age 8)**

less than a year later, both boys are at the exact same spot with much heavier hearts. the snow blankets the hill they sit upon and they’re shivering so hard they can almost hear their teeth chattering. evan is crying in jared’s arms, and jared is unsure of what to do and guilty for it. 

“i can’t believe he just left, jare,” evan chokes out through a sob. jared tries to ignore the wetness soaking through his shirt sleeves from the tears and the snot. “i don’t- i don’t know why he would just…” 

“i’m sorry, ev,” jared finally says.

“was it because of me?”

“what?”   
“did he leave because of me?” evan stares up at jared with wide eyes full of hurt and sadness and just the smallest bit of anger.

“i- no way, evan,” jared replies, wiping evan’s remaining tears away from his cheeks. “you’re amazing. he couldn’t have left because of you.” 

“i’m not amazing, jared,” evan says quietly; bitterly. “i'm anything  _ but  _ amazing and i bet that's why he left.” he feels like there's something closing in on his lungs in his chest; it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

“evan. stop,” jared tells him, “stop thinking about this, and take deep breaths.”

 

so evan tries. tries to listen to jared, tries to breathe, but it’s so, so hard. “jared, i- i don’t know if i can do this,” he says, voice breaking. 

“you can absolutely do this, evan,” jared assures him softly, bringing a hand up to his shoulder and rubbing it. “you’ve got this.” when he doesn’t see any sign of hesitation or discomfort, he draws evan close to him in another embrace, and that’s all it takes for evan to let it all go. 

he clings to jared, continuing to cry for what seems like hours and hours. jared only notices the silence when he hears evan’s soft snores, frowning as he rubs the smaller boy’s back.

 

**#3: july 14th, 2006 (age 8)**

“it’s really hot,” jared whines as he and evan walk up the hill. “i  _ hate _ coming here in the summer.”

evan laughs, “don’t worry, jare. it’ll all be worth it when we get to the tree!”

jared sighs. “why’s it gotta be up on a hill?” 

“you're asking me that like i have an answer.”

jared rolls his eyes. “it's a  _ rhetorical  _ question.”

“a what?”

“y'know, it's a question you ask not because you want an answer, but because you wanna make a point!”

evan blinks and nods in understanding. “how do you know all this stuff? you're so smart!”

jared shrugs and shifts his gaze to the grass they're trudging over. “i… have a lot of freetime. i read a lot.”

evan frowns, “you don't get to spend much time with your parents?”

jared shakes his head. “they're pretty much always away. mom's busy at work most of the day and she's always got parties or whatever to go to when she has days off. dad's almost always out of town, or out of state, or- or even out of country. so i spend most of my time with a book and a babysitter who's… actually pretty okay, i guess. i just wish i got to see them around more.”

“i'm sorry, jare,” evan frowns. “if it helps at all, i don't get to spend much time with my mom either, since she's busier at the hospital more than ever now that- that-”

“i know, ev,” jared interrupts him with a sympathetic smile, taking evan's hand in his. “it's okay.”

evan shoots him a small smile in reply and they finish the rest of the walk up the hill in a comfortable silence.

 

“god, finally,” jared says with a dramatic sigh as he collapses onto the cool grass beneath the shade of the lovely red oak tree. “i wish this hill wasn't so big. it's like a freaking  _ mountain. _ ”

“you're only saying that ‘cause you don't like walking up here in the summer,” evan giggles as he sits down next to jared.

“okay, fine, maybe you're right,” jared huffs. “but can you blame me? i'm sweating like a pig right now!”

evan rolls his eyes fondly. “you're gonna be sweating like a pig all day, every day for the next month, jare. we live in new york, and it's  _ summer. _ ”

jared pouts, “you're not usually so mean to me like this.”

“am… am i being mean?” evan asks, sincerely stunned. “sorry, jare, i-i was just joking around and-”

“oh, evan,” jared sighs, patting his friend’s cheek, “you poor thing. too nice for your own good. i had a feeling if i said something you’d react this way.”

“sure you did,” evan replies skeptically. then he bites his lip nervously, quickly adding, “not to be mean or anything!”

jared laughs and shakes his head, and the boys go back and forth about everything and nothing under the tree on the hill until the sun begins to set.

 

**#4: march 19th, 2007 (age 9)**

“why am i like this?” evan asks he leans against the cool trunk of the tree, finding the wet feeling of the bark oddly comforting.

jared blinks, taken aback. “what?”

“i’m sorry, it’s just…” evan sighs. “i get so- so  _ nervous _ so easily. whenever someone brings up the idea of me being mean or says i’m bad at something, it- it just kind of flips this switch in my brain, i guess. because i’m already constantly scared that i’m being weird or mean or that i’m bad at something, and when someone says it, it just gets even worse because then it’s like i  _ know _ i’m bad at something or whatever, and suddenly it just gets very, very difficult to breathe —”

“woah, evan,” jared interrupts his friend, placing his hands on his arms lightly. “dude, chill, seriously. you’re okay. i’m sure you’re not the only one who goes through that.”

“yeah, but it’s not… normal either, you know? not everyone feels this way, i’m sure of it. not everyone is  _ always _ scared or nervous about something, even if it’s something small or dumb.”

“you could… talk to your mom, right?” jared offers. “i mean, she works at a hospital, she could know about this kind of stuff.” 

“that’s… actually a really good idea, jared,” evan smiles.

jared scoffs. “you say that like all my other ideas aren’t good!”

“i mean, sticking one of the lizards from the class tank in james’s backpack probably wasn’t that great of an idea.”

“whaaat? it was hilarious! all the other kids laughed!”

evan giggles and shakes his head, “wasn’t hilarious to me, jare. it was pretty mean. he screamed and started crying in the middle of the classroom.”

jared rolls his eyes, “that’s just ‘cause he’s a big baby!”

“jared!” evan scolds him, elbowing him lightly. “we’re literally nine! we’re  _ all _ babies!”

jared only snorts and elbows evan back before wrapping an arm around his shoulders and ruffling his hair, earning a laugh from the smaller boy.

“talk to my mom, you said?” evan asks jared after a couple minutes of comfortable silence.

“yeah,” jared replied.

evan pauses before speaking up again, “that makes me nervous.”

“i’ll go with you if you want,” jared smiles.

“really?” evan stares up at jared with surprise.   
“sure!” jared nods. evan only grins brightly in response and rests his head on his friend’s shoulder.

 

**#5: may 24th, 2007 (age 9)**

“got diagnosed with anxiety when i went to my last appointment,” evan says as he leans against the trunk of the tree, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. 

jared frowns, “your last appointment was over a month ago, right? why didn't you tell me sooner?”

evan shrugs and smiles sadly, “got too… nervous.”

“ev…” jared shakes his head, “the joke can’t be funny if you can’t laugh about it.”

evan's smile drops, his face falling flat. “sorry. it's just a lot to handle.”

“i'm sure it is,” jared replies sympathetically. “i'm sorry.”

evan shrugs. “it’s okay. not like there’s anything anyone can really do about it. if it gets really bad then i’ll probably have to start, um… therapy, i think it’s called.”

jared nods, “therapy. i’ve read about that.”

this earns a giggle from evan that makes jared feel an indescribable kind of happiness. “jeez, jare, what  _ haven’t _ you read about?”

jared grins and shrugs. “i don’t know!”

both boys laugh, and any hint of tension or sadness from before has dissipated.

 

**#6: april 1st, 2008 (age 10)**

“evan!” jared calls to the top of the hill, out of breath from running so much. “ev, are you up there?!” 

he knows the question is pointless; he can see his friend's silhouette leaning against the tree trunk, shaking. oh no. is evan crying?

forcing himself to ignore the burning sensation in his legs and lungs, jared races up the hill, nearly collapsing when he reaches the top.  _ man, how out of shape am i?  _ he thinks with a frown. the thought disappears the moment he hears evan whimper, and he drops to the cool, grassy ground to embrace his friend. when evan shoves him away, his eyes widen, but he makes no move to try and hug him again. this time, jared tries just… talking. 

“hey, ev, i'm really sorry about that crappy prank those kids pulled on you. i know you're upset, but please… tell me if there's anything i can do to make it better.”

“there isn't,” evan lets out a watery laugh. “you can't really fix something someone else did, jare. it's fine. i'll be fine. it was just a stupid joke. april fools, right?”

“it's not fine, evan!” jared frowns. “those kids  _ knew  _ about your crush on zoe and they faked a note from her just for you to embarrass yourself in front of her. they took advantage of you, and that's seriously not cool!”

evan opens his mouth to reply, but all that comes out is another sob, and jared doesn't know what to do except try for another embrace; fortunately, evan doesn't push him away this time. in fact, he leans into it.

“hey, jared? i don't want this to sound weird or anything. i mean it as, like, a friend, so, um… yeah. i just wanted to tell you… i love you.”

jared blinks in shock. those were three words he hadn't heard in a  _ long _ time.

“i love you, too, evan,” he replies quietly.

“really?”

“really.”

 

**#7: october 6th, 2009 (age 11)**

“hey, jare, did you ever hear the myth about this place?” evan asks out of the blue, drawing jared

back to reality from whatever world he'd previously been lost in. 

“there's a myth about this place?” he asks, blinking.

“yeah! apparently, if you come here with the same person eighteen times, it means that they're your soulmate,” evan replies, eyes wide.

jared snorts and bursts into laughter, shaking his head. 

“i doubt that's true, ev,” he says between laughs. “what if this is just a spot you come to with your best friend? to, like, hang out and talk and stuff? like what we do.”

“hey, maybe your best friend could be your soulmate!” evan argues, arms crossed.

jared shrugs, “sure, but that's not necessarily the case for everyone.”

“why are you so against this?” evan frowns. jared feels a small pang of guilt.

“it's nothing personal,” he assures evan, “stuff like this has always seemed dumb. i mean, how can something so random determine who you're supposedly  _ destined  _ to be with?”

evan then smiles and shrugs his shoulders, “fate decides. you either go with it or ignore it and do what you want.”

jared scoffs as he leans against the tree trunk, “i think we both know which option i'm gonna opt for.”

“which one?” evan teases. jared snorts and shoulders him gently in a playful manner, and they both talk the night away under the oak tree as the moonlight paints the land around them in a shimmery white.

 

**#8: april 23rd, 2010 (age 12)**

“you know, i never thought that out of all the reasons we could ever be up here, a  _ science project  _ would be one of them,” jared grumbles as he sits with evan on the hill, the stars and the moon above being the only things that cast light on their sketchpads. he sighs deeply and stares at the empty pad of paper in his lap before staring up dreadfully at the sky.

“i thought you liked science,” evan says confusedly. “you're not excited about this project?”

“well, i mean, i do like science a lot, but being  _ here  _ for it kinda ruins this spot for me. in my favourite place with one of my favourite people for a  _ school project?  _ i mean, come on!”

“aww, jare, it could be fun!” evan replies cheerily. “you have to find a constellation, draw it out, and write why you picked that constellation plus a few fun facts about it. you know a bunch about constellations, right? you should be able to do this lickety-split!”

“i guess…” jared huffs and looks up at the sky adorned with stars, eyes wandering over the small lights until they widen in realisation. “orion's belt! there it is!” he exclaims, pointing out the line of stars for evan to see.

evan grins widely, “i knew you'd be able to do it in no time!”

“this is perfect! it's our favourite constellation, ev. there's so much we can write about it! the story behind it, oh, and the facts, like which stars it's made up of and stuff… yeah, this is gonna be a piece of cake,” jared smiles. “guess it doesn't spoil the fun after all.”

“told ya so,” evan giggles softly, angling himself so that he can get more light from the moon and work on his sketch of the constellation. he ends up leaning against jared, who doesn't mind, thinking,  _ actually, this is kinda nice. _

 

**#9: november 17th, 2010 (age 12)**

“it was really nice of your mom to get us this hot chocolate,” jared tells evan gratefully as he clutches the warm cup in his hands.

evan replies softly without looking over at jared, his eyes fixated on the late autumn sky. “i'll tell her you said that. it'll make her happy.”

“how's she doing, ev? how are you guys?” jared asks sincerely. this prompts evan to look over at him, surprised for a moment before a smile graces his features.

“she's doing pretty well. i don't see her around as much but i know it's ‘cause she's gotta work twice as hard since… since he left.”

jared catches the way evan's voice wavers when he says those last three words, but he still shoots his friend a smile that holds silent praise;  _ proud of you. _

evan seems to get the message and quietly replies, “thank you.”

“you know, it's only gonna get colder from here,” jared chuckles after a short period of comfortable silence. “i can already see my breath.”

evan giggles, “remember when us and all the other kids in our class would blow air during the winter and pretend it was smoke from a cigarette or something?”

jared snorts, “of course. how could i forget? some of us still do it.”

“woah, jare,” evan breathes suddenly, “look at the sky.”

“what about it?” jared turns his gaze towards the sky as he speaks, answering his own question with a soft, “holy shit.”

the sun is setting, casting many gorgeous colours on the sky; blues and pinks, oranges and purples of all tints and shades, and the stars are just starting to become visible. the boys can see the sky actively darkening, and the stars and the moon become increasingly brighter and easier to see. they sit there in awe, mouths agape at the sight in front of them. 

after the transformation of the night sky is complete, they turn to each other with huge grins on their faces.

“that was awesome!” they exclaim simultaneously, laughing.

“how long has it been since we've just, like, admired the sky like that?” evan asks incredulously. 

jared chuckles and shakes his head, “i don't know, man. it's been a  _ long _ time. years, probably.”

“i missed it,” evan says with a bright smile.

“you know what?” jared throws an arm around his friend's shoulder, “i missed it, too.”

 

**#10: may 14th, 2011 (age 13)**

“we're gonna be high schoolers after this summer,” jared says, staring blankly at the grass.

“isn't everyone gonna hate us since we're gonna be freshmen?” evan asks nervously. 

jared shrugs, “so be it. the year after we could be the ones hating the freshmen.”

“i think i'd rather be invisible than hated, jare,” evan admits. he curses at himself silently as he notices the tears clouding up his vision, and jared places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly. he gives evan a small smile.

“you're  _ not  _ gonna be invisible. you're gonna have me, and i'm sure we'll find more friends. and if anyone tries to hate on you, i'll protect you. i've got you, ev. i promise.”

“thanks, jared,” evan replies quietly. “i'll do my best to protect you whenever you need me to. i promise.”

“sweet,” jared grins. “i mean, even if nobody likes freshmen, at least we'll be out of middle school hell.”

“okay, fair point,” evan nods and laughs. “i feel like as soon as i walk into high school, the mere thought of middle school is gonna make me shudder.”

“you and me both, ev. you and me both,” jared sighs and shakes his head. “plus, in high school, no one cares when you curse!”

“oh, yeah, i bet that's  _ great  _ news for you,” evan says with a playful eye-roll. 

“of course it is! i've got free reign to use whatever insults i want on whoever i want!”

evan chuckles and shakes his head, leaning into jared. 

“i feel like every time we're up here i end up leaning against you,” he says, causing jared to laugh.

“i mean, i don't mind. i'll take it as a sign that i'm comfortable.”

evan snorts, “believe whatever you want to. let's stop thinking about all this high school stuff right now and enjoy the stars while we're here, yeah?” 

“sounds like a plan,” jared smiles. “high school can wait.”

 

**#11: july 28th, 2012 (age 13)**

it's a breezy summer night, and jared and evan have chosen to lay down on the hill next to one another, staring at the sky. there aren't very many stars up there on this particular night, but the ones that are present shine brightly, as if making their presence known.

“it's really close,” evan whispers, causing jared to look over.

“you mean high school?”

“yeah.”

“you'll be fine, ev. remember, anything's better than middle school.”

“but what if it just gets worse?” evan exhales shakily and frowns. “you're smart, jared, and funny, and cool. you don't feel like you're gonna throw up or pass out nearly every time you try to talk to someone. you don't have— you're… you're not like me. you've got so many things going for you, and—”

“hey, shut up,” jared cuts him off and punches him in the shoulder lightly. “don't compare yourself to me like that. you're smart, too. you're better at some things than me. and don't think that no one's going to like you because you have anxiety. there are definitely gonna be people who won't be a big fan of it, but there are gonna be even more people who ultimately won't care! i'm sure of that.”

“how do you always know what to say?” evan asks as his eyes well up with tears.

“i don't know,” jared replies honestly. “emotions aren't really my thing, so i just say what sounds right and hope it works.”

evan chuckles softly and smiles at jared, and when jared just shrugs and smiles back, he feels as if everything might be okay.

 

**#12: january 20th, 2013 (age 14)**

jared stands next to evan, hugging himself tightly in the bitter cold. why they choose to visit the tree even in the winter is beyond the two of them. 

“how you holding up, ev?”

“okay, i guess,” evan responds with a shrug. “no one's shoved me into a locker and beaten the crap out of me yet, so yeah.”

jared frowns, “are you sure everything's okay?”

evan nods, “don't worry about it, jare. it's fine.”

“high school's pretty different, huh?” jared asks, trying to change the subject. he knows that if he lingers on evan's state too long, evan will grow defensive. 

“yeah, definitely,” evan replies with a small laugh. “it's almost scarier, because there are so many more people judging me now.”

“i don't think anyone's judging anyone, evan,” jared smiles. “everyone's a little too caught up trying to survive the year themselves.”

“so why does it feel like everybody's watching me whenever i do or say something?” evan says frustratedly. “every time i answer a question in class, i get nervous. i stutter. my voice shakes. even when my name is called for attendance! and everyone notices. i hear people laugh. i thought it would get better, but it's just gotten so much worse.”

jared draws evan into a loose embrace, and when he leans into it and begins to shiver, jared holds him tighter. he looks up at the sky as he rubs evan's arm comfortingly. 

_ there's always something about the stars.  _

 

**#13: july 15th, 2013 (age 14)**

the next time the boys sit upon the hill, there’s a silence different from the one that’s usually between them. this silence is not comfortable; it is quite the opposite. it is tense. so tense, in fact, that they both feel practically suffocated by it.

jared is the first one to speak, but he can’t bring himself to look at evan. “i feel like i never see you anymore.”

evan laughs quietly; bitterly. “maybe it’s because you don’t, jared. i mean, i’m practically invisible now.”

“hey, that’s not—”

“don’t even  _ try _ and tell me it’s not true,” evan cuts him off, voice louder than before. “it’s not your fault, jared, i’m not mad at you. i’m just mad at myself. i got scared. i didn’t let anyone come near me. i distanced myself from you when i saw you had other friends—”

“wait, okay, so i develop a _social_ _life_ and you decide to back off because suddenly you’re not my only friend?” jared raises his voice as he speaks, and he only feels a small bit of guilt when he sees evan flinch. 

“no, jared, that’s not what i—”

“i think i understand damn well what you meant, evan!” jared exclaims. “sorry i’m not just a lonely, pathetic loser like you anymo—”

“listen to me!” evan screams, stunning jared into silence. he doesn’t bother to stop his tears from streaming down his face as he continues, “just be quiet for  _ once _ and listen to me, okay?! the whole reason i backed off from you and your new friends was because i was scared i’d ruin it for you! because they’d- they’d see that you were  _ friends _ with this- with this- what was it you called me? oh, right! they’d see you were friends with this ‘lonely, pathetic loser’ and they’d leave you because  _ nobody _ wants to be friends with someone like me.”

jared’s eyes widen and he feels shame settle down on his heart in the form of a crushing weight. “evan, wait, i’m so sorry, i—”

“no, don’t be sorry,” evan says with a watery laugh, shaking his head and wiping his tears away. “you were right. you’ll always be right, jared. i’m lonely, and pathetic, and a freak. it’s okay.”

“no, ev, i—”

“please don’t call me that,” evan whispers, “please just go away.”

“evan—”

“jared,  _ please,” _ evan says with a sob. 

and despite the strong urge to reach out and comfort him, jared knows he shouldn’t. so he leaves.

 

**#14: august 27th, 2015 (age 16)**

when jared sees evan sitting atop the hill and their eyes meet, they both know that there’s no turning back. jared walks up the hill towards the oak tree, lowering his gaze towards the grass until he gets to the top. only then does he make eye contact with evan again, and he sits down next to the now taller boy.

“hey,” evan says.

“hey,” jared replies. “been a while.”

“it sure has. we’re almost seniors now.”

jared nods and stays silent, and evan smiles sadly.

“we’re not gonna talk it out?”

“talk it out?” jared asks softly, confused.

“the fight, i mean,” evan clarifies. “you know, the reason i haven’t talked to you in, like, two years.”

“oh… right. um…” jared sighs shakily, “i’m- i’m really… i’m really sorry, evan. it was such a dick move for me to say all that shit, and i need you to know that i didn’t mean it. i should’ve shut up and just listened to you.”

“it’s okay,” evan replies simply. “i wasn’t about to disagree with what you said, anyways.”

“i still shouldn’t have said it, ev- evan.”

“you can call me ev,” he says softly. “it’s okay.”

jared nods and sighs deeply. “i just- i  _ know _ about your anxiety and everything you’ve had to deal with because of it and i still let myself say something like that. it was so fucked up of me to do that. you’re not a lonely, pathetic loser.”

“i kind of am,” evan says with a sad laugh. 

“okay, you know what? our senior year, i’m gonna turn things around, i promise. i’ll introduce you to my friends. they’re not gonna judge you, i promise. they’re all super chill people, and some of them deal with anxiety like you do.”   
“you sure this isn’t just a pity thing?” evan raises an eyebrow. “because if it is, then please don’t even bo—”

“it’s not a pity thing, ev! i left you out and i want to make it up to you. these last few years, i— i got so used to not seeing you that in my mind i reduced you to a family friend. i feel awful about it because you deserve better. i’ll understand if you don’t want to do this, though.”

“no, i- i think i do. thanks, jare,” evan tells him quietly, smiling.

jared smiles back and nods in reply, and they both sit in a comfortable silence that they’ve been wanting for a long time.

 

**#15: october 14th, 2015 (age 16)**

evan sits next to jared with a concerned frown, “everything okay, jared? that text you sent worried me.”

jared shakes his head and rubs his eyes, “my parents are almost never home, and whenever they are, they always find something to criticise me for. i didn't mean to worry you. i just needed some air and it feels weird being up here without you next to me, so i asked you to come.”

“i'm sorry,” evan says sympathetically. “do you wanna talk about it?”

“not much to talk about,” jared chuckles humorlessly. “either they neglect me completely or they make me feel like shit. i seriously cannot wait until i go to college.”

evan notices jared's voice waver, and sees an unusual glimmer in his friend's eyes. “jare?”

“yeah, ev?”

“are you okay?” he asks softly.

and that's when the tears start coming. in all the years they’ve known each other, this is the first time evan has seen jared kleinman cry. he doesn't know what to do. he thinks of all the times he's cried in front of jared - which turns out to be quite embarrassing, because he's cried in front of jared a  _ lot _ \- in an attempt to figure out how to comfort him.

he settles for wrapping his arms around his friend  and holding him close, rubbing his back soothingly with one hand. “it's okay, jared. you're such an amazing, talented guy and your parents are missing out on so much by choosing to treat you this way. but please just know that i'm here, okay? i'll always be here for you whenever you need me.”

“thanks, ev,” jared mumbles into evan's shoulder, hugging him rather tightly. “it really means a lot to hear that.”

evan smiles and pets jared's hair comfortingly, eyes fixed on the small, glimmering lights in the night sky that have come back to visit them. “of course, jared.”

 

**#16: april 16th, 2016 (age 17)**

jared and evan sit at the base of the tree, surrounded by notebooks, binders, and pencils. they've been sitting there practically all day.

“senior year is the best  _ and  _ the worst year,” jared moans, sitting up straight, “you get so much more freedom, but there's so much to do.”

“i know, right?” evan laughs and shakes his head. “i'm kinda gonna miss the second half of high school, though.”

“me, too,” jared agrees with a small smile. “i'm gonna miss you, evan.”

“the colleges we're going to are literally, like, half an hour away from each other,” evan giggles.

“oh, so then i guess i won't miss you,” jared corrects. he speaks up again after a quick second, “wait, that's not what i meant.”

evan bursts into laughter, “guess i won't be missing you either.”

jared feels his face flush, but he shakes it off as a sign of embarrassment. 

“i'm definitely gonna miss  _ this,  _ though,” he says softly, patting the grass beneath them. 

“i'm sure we'll come back here time to time,” evan smiles. “no way i'm letting go of this spot. so much has happened here.”

“yeah,” jared chuckles. “i've got a feeling a lot more will happen here in the future, too.”

 

**#17: september 7th, 2016 (age 17)**

“how long before your first day?” evan whispers.

“twelve days,” jared replies shortly. “you?”

“eleven.”

“aw, damn, i was hoping i'd have a bit more time to bother you endlessly.”

evan snorts, “how sweet of you.”

“let me correct myself,” jared says with a sarcastic eye-roll. “i was hoping i'd have a bit more time with you. i know you go only a day before me, but…” 

“jared,” evan places his hand over jared's and squeezes it, “it's not like i'll be across the country from you. we can still see each other over weekends and stuff!”

“i know, i know, but i'm still gonna miss you.”

“you're getting uncharacteristically sappy on me and i'm not sure how to react,” evan jokes. 

“just…” jared shrugs and leans into evan, surprising him. “ugh. i can't believe you're taller than me now.”

“i hope our parting words are more pleasant.”

jared laughs at this, and evan smiles and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“trust me, ev,” jared says, “they will be.”

 

**#18: june 19th, 2017 (age 18)**

the next time they meet, both boys are practically flying into each other's arms, crying and laughing. evan nearly lifts jared off of the ground, and jared mentally marvels at how strong his friend has gotten.

“missed you, bro,” jared says in a dramatically deep voice as evan sets him down, lightly punching him in the arm.

“missed you, too,” evan pauses for a moment, “dude…?”

jared laughs and brings him into another hug, burying his face into the taller boy's shoulder, “pulled through year one, huh?”

“yeah, we did,” evan smiles. “i was hoping you'd wanna celebrate by just… looking at the stars with me? like the first time we ever came here?”

“that's so fucking cheesy,” jared laughs, “i'd  _ love  _ to.”

evan grins and sits down, jared doing the same, settling into the spot next to him. he rests his head on evan's shoulder. “really seems like there's something about the stars tonight, huh?”

evan turns his head to press a quick kiss to jared's hair, earning a surprised but soft smile from him. “yeah, jare, it really does.”

 

_ dear evan hansen,  _

_     today is going to be a good day, and here's why; _

_ because today, you're you, and you're with people you love _

_ and that's enough  _

 

**_fin._ **

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading. i hope you enjoyed :)


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